What does it mean to be a martyr?
This is a question I often ask myself.
On my peaceful morning run. As I drink my coffee. When I
play with my dog. When I prayerfully and freely enter into the Holy Sacrifice
of the Mass.
What does it mean to be a martyr?
Ever since I heard of the story of the Columbine victim, Rachel
Scott, as a 9-year-old girl with the same name, I’ve been asking myself
this question.
What does it mean to be a martyr?
It’s quite sobering to watch the news, and even more
sobering to recognize that the path of martyrdom is not “outdated,” it’s not
set aside for the first Christians who found themselves in a hostile Roman
Empire. Martyrdom is current, it chosen by the faithful in Iraq, the faithful
in Sudan, the faithful in America…
It is a choice. Will I chose it?
Upon the approach of 2012, I (embarrassingly) looked up every website known to man about the Mayan
Calendar, “end of the world theory”… apocalypse… yadda yadda. I was genuinely
terrified. Granted, I was in a much different place spiritually—not as trustful
of the Lord and quite naive—but what I realized was it wasn’t the fear of the end of the world
that bothered me, it was the unknowingness of heaven that made me
uncomfortable.
Heaven made me uncomfortable, what? But, I’m a good Catholic; I have faith!
… I am still a human who has only encountered an earthly
understanding of life.
My encounter, with the uncomfortable nature of figuring out
why I struggle with embracing heaven, has lead me to an greater understanding and
(dare I say) comfort with martyrdom.
The understanding is this: my encounter with Christ on earth (which has been pretty phenomenal, I may say) is NOTHING in comparison to my encounter, my eternal encounter, with Christ in heaven.
How dare I say that anything on earth will ever compare,
will ever be better?
Death terrifies us because we do not know the life of
heaven, we have only tasted it, if even a little... I want to be as fearless as
the martyrs. I want to be as faithful as the apostles.
But man… do I have a long way to go.
